Are You Offside or Onside?
Football lasts 90 minutes. Abuse and fear can last much longer.
For many people, match day is exciting. It's a chance to come together, support your team and enjoy the game. But for others, the final whistle doesn't bring relief.
Football is not the cause of VAWG or domestic abuse. However, research shows that domestic abuse and VAWG-related offences increase around major football tournaments, making it an important time to start conversations, recognise warning signs and ensure support is available.
Do you:
Feel relieved when match day is over?
Feel responsible for managing someone else's emotions?
Notice a change in a loved one's behaviour on match day?
Change your own behaviour to avoid conflict?
Feel anxious about how someone will react if their team loses?
If any of this sounds familiar, you're not alone.
If you feel unsafe, trust that feeling. Keep your phone charged and create a safe word with someone you trust before matches. Plan where you could go if you needed to leave and If you are in immediate danger, call 999. If you cannot speak, press 55 when prompted.
If you are worried about someone else, speak up. Simple and non-judgemental conversations can make all the difference. Reassure them that support is available and offer practical help such as a lift, somewhere safe to stay or a phone call. Remember, you could be putting them at risk by confronting the perpetrator.
LOOK AROUND THE ROOM
Many victims never tell the people around them. The person who needs support could be closer than you think. You might not save the penalty, but you could save a life just by knowing the following:
Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) includes a wide range of offences including:
Domestic abuse
Sexual offences
Honour-based abuse
Stalking
Coercive and controlling behaviour
Drink Spiking
Serious violence and homicide
Not all harmful behaviour reaches the threshold of a criminal offence. Misogynistic attitudes and behaviours can still have a significant impact on women and girls, making places, activities and communities feel unsafe. The impact on victims and survivors can be life-changing.
The Home Office definition of domestic abuse is:
Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality.
ARE YOU OFFSIDE OR ONSIDE?
FOOTBALL, ALCOHOL, GAMBLING AND STRESS DO NOT CAUSE DOMESTIC ABUSE
People make choices about how they behave. While football, alcohol, gambling and stress can be aggravating factors, they do not cause abuse and they are never an excuse for abusive behaviour. Everyone is responsible for their own actions.
CHILDREN ARE WATCHING TOO...
It’s not just the football they’re watching, children learn from the behaviours they see. Children do not need to witness abuse directly to be affected by it. They see the tension, hear the arguments and feel the fear. Children deserve to feel safe before, during and after the match.
THE REALITY IN HERTFORDSHIRE
So far this year, the Hertfordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline provided direct telephone support to 890 individuals, alongside 266 email enquiries.
The website recorded more than 21,000 visits, demonstrating the continued need for accessible and trusted support across the county.
Of those accessing the Helpline:
495 were female victim-survivors
68 were male victim-survivors
This highlights both the gendered nature of domestic abuse and the importance of ensuring support remains inclusive and accessible to all.
So far in 2026 (up to May), Hertfordshire Constabulary has received an average of 59 domestic abuse-related reports every day – approximately 2.5 reports every hour.
Over the last 12 months officers arrested an average of 283 domestic abuse suspects every month.
Nationally:
1 in 5 children in the UK have lived with domestic abuse
Domestic abuse reports increase by 26% when England win or draw
Domestic abuse reports increase by 38% when England lose
A domestic abuse-related call is made to police every 30 seconds in the UK
These figures remind us why awareness, prevention and early intervention matter.
YOU DON'T NEED TO WALK ALONE
Local support is available whether you are experiencing abuse, worried about someone else, or concerned about your own behaviour, help is available.
Hertfordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline - 08 088 088 088 / kim@mailpurple.org / go to our home page for live web chat. The Helpline is a free, support and signposting service for anyone in Hertfordshire experiencing or witnessing domestic abuse.
Hertfordshire Constabulary VAWG webpages Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) | Hertfordshire Constabulary
HAB Law Experienced Legal Services from HAB Law in Hertfordshire They say “At the heart of everything we do is one mission: to change the speed at which victims of domestic abuse can access the legal support they need. When someone finally finds the courage to reach out, every hour matters. We want to be the firm that closes that gap, that makes the journey from fear to safety faster, clearer, and less frightening”
ABOUT THIS CAMPAIGN
The "We Won, I Lost – Are You Offside or Onside?" campaign was developed to encourage conversations about VAWG, domestic abuse, challenge harmful attitudes and promote support during major football tournaments.
The campaign has been shaped through collaboration between local partners, including Hertfordshire Domestic Abuse Helpline, Hertfordshire Constabulary, HAB Law, Stevenage Football Club Foundation, Watford Football Club Trust supported by Hertfordshire's domestic abuse Co-Production Panel.
We all have a part to play in tackling VAWG. Together, we can create a culture where everyone feels safe before, during and after the final whistle.
