Read the stories of Euleen and Beth, two survivors of tech abuse.
Our thanks go to Relate for allowing us to reproduce these stories.
Beth is a student and blogger. She is a survivor of tech abuse. After breaking up with her boyfriend, he would use social media channels to harass and stalk her, her mum and her friends. When she blocked him, he set up new accounts. She deliberately distanced herself from social media because she didn’t enjoy using it any more – which isolated her as a young person and as a blogger.
She is safe now and has moved away to study at university. She has been supported by Refuge to speak out about her experience and let other women know they’re not alone. Beth says:
“When I first got together with him he didn’t even have a phone, I thought he was a massive technophobe until we broke up. Suddenly he started all these social media accounts and used them as a harassment tool. He sent me a suicide note via Facebook messenger along with graphic images of self-harm. I later found out that he just found the images online. I went round the next day and he was just sitting there on his Xbox.
“He regularly turned up where I worked and often at the end of a shift I’d find 50 messages from him on my phone. After reporting him to the police, the online harassment stopped. But the paranoia stayed for a long time.”
Euleen is also a survivor of tech abuse. Ms Hope’s former partner was also physically and emotionally abusive and eventually served a prison sentence for assault and GBH:
“I was a technophobe and my ex-partner set up my email and social media accounts for me, which meant he had full access to them. He also replaced my flip-phone with an iPhone which he then set up to be mirrored on to their iPad so he could monitor calls and messages. He set up a location tracker, saying it would help me. You wouldn’t think he was doing anything bad, I didn’t realise it was going to be part of my entrapment. I noticed the iPad ringing and he told me he was just testing a new app.
“He also installed cameras around the house, saying it was for my security. One day my twin sister came round one day to visit. Normally if my friends or family came over he would sit in the room with us. This time he said he would leave us to catch up and said he would use his computer in the kitchen upstairs. I moved behind the camera and told my sister to keep talking, I went up the stairs and saw him listening to what he thought was our conversation.”
Beth and Euleen are featured in a BBC report on tech abuse